the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
