There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
