Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
