Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
