Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
