he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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