We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
