32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
