What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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