ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize