Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
