i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I had to cum in my sink.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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