Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
