I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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