you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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