I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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