So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
