Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
