areolas are like halos for boobs.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
