I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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