Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
