I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
