help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
