I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
