i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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