I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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