Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Randomize