But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
