Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
