Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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