Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
