i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
