I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
