Umm I'm too high to move.
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
