I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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