Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
