I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
