I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
