that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Is it because I queefed?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
There's a naked man in my car right now.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
