But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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