u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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