That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
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