people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
