all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
