This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize