That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
