that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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