I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
