She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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