I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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