we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Randomize
