I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
