im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
