There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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