I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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