I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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