Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
