It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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