She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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