ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
