pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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