i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
