I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
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