I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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