i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
