So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
worst night to have a conscience
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
