Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
